Post easter melancholy. I had no real chance to celebrate this year, been having sweetheart and bestie around though so I’ve been ok. Also had an infection in my leg, and of course due to the full moon I got my monthly dose of not being pregnant, all this while easter, a time you’re supposed to rest and feel holy and clean, and while working overtime every fucking day. So no, I haven’t had time or motivation to do much but sulk and feel sorry for myself.
At work now, nightshift this week. Looking for churches I could go to. I want to go. I don’t have to go during mass, with all the people and all, but I like churches. I’ve always liked to go into churches. It’s calm and quiet and beautiful, whether you believe or not, or whatever you believe in. I was thinking of going to the catholic church in town, and also of course the synagogue in our capital. Really curious about that. We have a nice protestant church in the center of town that is really nice to just sit in alone too. I don’t know. Just kind of feel it would be good for me to aquaint myself a bit with the holy buildings. There is a longing somewhere for it, and it occupies my thoughts a lot, even if I am still not, and might never be clear on what exactly I believe.
Every hour at work I stand up and walk around for five minutes. It feels really good. I can’t believe I haven’t done this before. Feeling pretty good overall now actually. Nightshift means more time with honey, more time with magick, more time learning spiritual things. I’ll reclaim my home again after the depressing months and everything bad, and get ready for spring. Although it snowed as late as yesterday. I long for home. I want to be there now. I have a lot to do.
I wonder if the drilling will continue this week. It doesn’t help me sleep.