170411 – Day 101 – ShekErnil

Hey! Started off this day with my Morning Ritual like a good girl. (See that post). I slept pretty poorly, strange dreams etc, but I blame my nicotine patch. Since I’ve tried to brainwash myself with the fact that it’s holy work to take care of my body, I’m starting to not enjoy cigarettes, and feeling weird when I can’t have veggies with my meals. Will have to rethink purchases and buy more veg and fruit to feel better about this. Fucking excellent change though.

Legs are becoming a bit smaller. Again. They had a party the week I was sick and thought they could get into monstrous proportions since I couldn’t walk much on them, but they are behaving better now, which is good.

Been calculating gematria all evening at work, checking out and writing down meanings, and tried to find a spiritual name for sweetie, cause he wanted one. I think I managed. And it’s been fun. 🙂 Got a book today too, “the secret alchemy of Mary Magdalene”. It looks fucking shady which will be awesome of course. 😛

Can’t wait to get home, I have a horrible craving for meatballs. Soon home. There I will finish up the book covers so I can start using the books and write all my notes in there. In the meantime I’m using anything including napkins to get my notes down I’m on a fucking roll. And it’s so much fun. I have missed this so much. I do miss having another party to do this with though, but she is long gone.

I actually tried to look her up on the web, but after hours of searching searchterms, names, adresses, birthdates etc and still not finding her, I give up. She’s gone. She was gone 20 years ago. It’s time to erase her.

So it’s mine now. Which is fun, but oh my god what a lot of work alone. Everything takes twice the time (DUH). Simple calculations, tarot layouts, interpretations, translations, everything. But I just have to bite down and deal with it. Honey helps a bit but he’s not really magickally inclined, he’s more of a lofty spiritual half-religious being, so he mostly finds it interesting and fascinating, but he can’t really contribute much.

However, I am motivated and optimistic. And it kinda feels good. Have fun all, it’s spring. ❤

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